I shut them out, make my world the rusting footbridge, the warm air, and the dark water below. An untouched bubble of space that I alone inhabit. On the worn concrete abutment beneath me, someone has scrawled in white paint the words LOOK UP, and I do so, without thinking, the command bypassing conscious thought. The sky is perfectly blue, cerulean above me and cornflower in the distance. I tumble the words through my hands, adding to them: azure, cobalt, bondi, indigo, ultramarine. The blues merge and swirl, dripping through my hands leaving long streaming trails of letters.
I shake my head and laugh loud, listening to the sound travel on the warm breeze. Happy. For the first time in many months, I am free, in control. My life is my own again.
“Rog! Roger!”
I try to ignore the voice, but I know Alex is already walking down the bridge toward me. The brief surge of freedom is already starting to fade. I try to hold tight to the moment, leaning out and surveying the debris choked creek beneath. What I had taken for a filthy styrofoam beer cooler catches my eye, and I look closer and see a green and mossy haunch. A rotting human thigh, the remaining skin greenish white, the rest of the body vanishing into the algae choked water.
Cameron Suey
Great stuff as usual, but damn that's grim, almost Cormac McCarthy grim.
This was indeed pretty grim, and the accompanying music was spectacular.His reaches out to grab me, – He Reaches out to grab me, he moves like predatory cat – he moves like a predatory cat
Fantastic as usual. I love the overall dreariness.
It was absolutely beautiful. I love the sudden shifts from happy and light hearted to heavy and grim. The ending made me tear up a bit haha.
This isn't at all like any of your other stories.
Love it! My one comment:"Despite the lingering warmth of the late valley summer, piles of dried leaves are already piling in the gutters. Without a human hand to clean them I picture them piling up, year after year, burying the small town in endless leaf pile, patiently waiting in vain for a small child to leap into them."this paragraph has the word 'pile' in it like 4 times.. unless that was intentional, it might benefit from some synonyms. Otherwise.. awesome stuff!
Thanks for the editing advice and feedback, all. Especially the "Piles". That one made me wince. These are living documents, so I've made a few suggested changes.I'm surprised to hear that this feels different from my other stories. It fits in chronologically in the same universe as Zero, One, and Before, and it feels to me, almost too similar to those stories. The same themes of madness at the end of morality are there, as is the first person present tense narration. Where does this story's uniqueness come from? Is that a good thing?
good stuff!
What I meant was that it felt like someone else had written this. The narrator's voice was too informal to match your other shorts written in first person, if that makes sense.
I think it fits in with the other apocalyptic stories theme wise, but the actual delivery is a bit different. However, since the protagonist is young in an empty world with his ruffian friends that he's grown up with, I wouldn't expect him to act exactly like the calculated genius who sets everything off in "Zero."Solid, as always. Enjoyed it immensely, Josef.
Wow neat! This is a really great site! I am wondering if anyone else has come across something like this in the past? Keep up the great work!
I finally figured you out, sir.I didn't take me long to realize that Josef K must be a pseudonym, being the protagonist of Kafka's The Trial, but I've finally figured out the whole puzzle.You're secretly Cory Doctorow, using a pseudonym to write horror! Well played, Mr. Doctorow. Well played.Keep up the good work Josef. As always, I'm greatly looking forward to future works from your hand.*cough*novel*cough*
I have no words to describe how much I loved this.As of this moment, I've read everything in the side bar that comes before 'The Blues', as well as Zero. This is definitely my favourite.The themes of being in a world where you can no longer exist ring out a little to me, since I have my moments of feeling like the world isn't right for me, silly little thoughts, and wishes for a life thats ever so slightly more interesting. This is the logical counterpoint to my own musings of a better world, and its done in such a way that I cant help but feel moved by it. The character of Alex seemed really sinister to me at the start, but morphed into an individual that is pragmatically accepting his own fate. I admire that quality, but its one that I hope I never possess. It irks me to think that I would ever give up in that sort of situation. If I had to, I would go out fighting (although I would prefer not to have to go out at all, at least not for a long, long time).Anyway, Like I was saying: Alex seemed like he was the "Good Guy" in this story, and not Roger. To put it differently, Alex seemed to be the Hero, and Roger the Tag-along. This is of course, a good possibilty, as your stories aren't normally about people who could be considered heroes.Roger himself, seemed to be just a normal person. His character is that of a desperate man, a scared man. I like that a lot, it makes for excellent reading when the character you see the world through is just a normal person, dealing with abnormal situations. even though pretty much everyone you've written has that character-type, Roger is my favourite.King was…intriguing. he had so much depth to him, and not exploring it somehow added more to his character. He had some of the jockness about him that you'd expect, but he had a little bit of extra to put a whole new spin on itAnd since it takes place in the Zero-One-Before continuity, I start to like it even more. A Zombie Apocolypse scenario is something that has always gotten me, and exploring different aspects of it, like you have, breaths new life into the genre. Alex's simple admission that they've left the world that they grew up to live in was so poignant, I teared up, just a little.Anyway, sorry for rambling on. This was definitely something amazing to read, and I'm really glad that I did read it. Thank You for writing it
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Great stuff, good to see you're still writing.
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A true work of art Mister K. I must say I honestly applauded out loud.
That was so good.There's still a couple copy/edits I'd be honor to tackle if you ever decide to send off to the publishing houses. Love the Winters setting.It did the thing stories are supposed to do – made me want to read more.After I do I'll get back to you on the "what's unique about this one" angle.
I'd be most thankful for any and all feedback, Phil. You know where you can reach me.
J -One typographical note: rhythmic "gait" and taut expression of a soldier.Otherwise, excellent as usual. Grim, yes, but much more color than goodman Cormac. Enjoyed the local flavor. I would ascribe earlier comments about this one being "different" to your developing ability to write with different voices for different characters – especially critical in a FP piece. I didn't notice it myself – can you blame me for still seeing a lot of "you" in your prose? However, on a second read, I can see what they're talking about. Keep it up.